The Dot Sig Quote Archive IMG=Back to Home Page

The Dot Sig Quote Archive

I've gotten several requests for my archive of dot sig quotes, so here they are, in all their glory. All of them are real quotes, said by real people. (Within limits, of course. The reality of some of my friends, relatives, and aquaintances is questionable, and several of these quotes have been modified ever-so-slightly to increase their humor content. Please rest assured, however, that they made no more sense when originally uttered than they do now.)

I also have a large archive of more coherent dot sig quotes, but they're just not as much fun. Of course, if people want, I'll put them up too, but then we hit an attribution problem. You see, I figure that no one really wants these quotes attributed (at least not the speakers), but the more pretty ones would need to be credited, and I rarely still have that info. Sorry.

I didn't know rabbits can jump! [*1]

I HATE bizarre sex.

You are a much better liar than I am.
Of course! That's what sincerity is all about!

That tree is eating your figs!

But breasts ARE romantic

It started spurting, so I automatically shoved it in my mouth.

I've like totally lost my pants! Oh, never mind, I found them.

Did you leave your brain online?

I don't care that you have no bathtub, I'm trying to hang up on you.

I finally figured out how to clap!!

Hey, I'm not your .sig quote anymore!
I haven't said anything stupid!

Is that all I am to you, a .sig quote generator?

Oh, Damn. Where's my foot?

Sorry, I had to get the ice cream out of the toaster.

We can't have an orgy tonight - we're having tacos

Hey! I remembered my pants today!

Look out! You're between me and my nakedness.

Next time I do this, remind me to take off my pants.

I'm not as large as I look; it's the breasts.

If metaphors were like airplanes, I would be a trailer park.

There's no toilet paper left in the freezer.

*1. Please email me (or better yet, corner me at a party) for the details on this one; it's a great story!
Last updated 8/31/01
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